Nobody’s perfect. We hear that statement but we act like we don’t believe it.
It’s so tempting to look at someone else and think they have it all together. That mom with the musical genius kids, the friend whose house is “always” clean, the lady who seems to effortlessly run a home business—looking in from the outside she looks amazing.
And I’m not. Or so we think.
Comparing ourselves to others is like comparing apples to oranges, if you’ll pardon the over-used expression. We haven’t walked a mile in their shoes and they haven’t walked in ours.
Take me, for instance. You haven’t seen my kitchen floor when it crunches, or the girls’ room when you can’t see the floor. You don’t know the struggles I’ve had with thoughts of despair and discouragement, or the times I thought I couldn’t take one more minute of homeschooling.
I eat sweet boxed cereal, use powdered creamer in my coffee and like frozen pizza. Sometimes I wear my fuzzy purple robe until late in the morning. My shower needs a scrubbing and there are two loads of clean laundry sitting in baskets in the den even as we speak.
Often we only hear about other moms’ best days. The time when they had cookies and milk ready when school was over. The day their children did an impressive science project.
You don’t often hear about the day they yelled at everyone because they were late, the time they loudly loaded the dishwasher in anger or the moment they sighed loudly when approached by their husband in bed.
I’m not saying that we should air our dirty laundry in public (and that includes Facebook), but we should give ourselves grace, know that others are real human beings and not get discouraged with comparisons. I bet you’re doing better than you think.
We think things about ourselves and say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to someone else. When’s the last time you said, “You are so fat” or “That was really stupid” to your good friend? So why do you think it’s okay to say it to yourself?
We tend to think that mean words don’t count when we say them in our heads to ourselves.
Stand back and watch the next few days. Notice how often you compare yourself to others. You might be feeling superior and prideful, or you may feel hopeless and “behind.” Either way, it’s not helpful to you.
Be who you are, keep working towards being better. Don’t try to be someone else and don’t focus on your perception that they’re better than you.
Instead of wasting emotional energy on comparing ourselves to others, we can steer our thoughts to gratefulness and thoughts like “how can I do this better?”
We all have plenty to do without adding the burden of comparisons that always make us the loser. Stay aware, take thoughts captive and enjoy YOUR life.
Please share your thoughts…
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Charlotte Siems
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Thank you Charlotte,
You are right and I needed to hear that.
XOXO
Janie
Everything you said us soo true.. I love the parts that talk about the things you can’t see.. It’s so easy to look at others and see how perfect they look! Also the part that you wouldn’t say those things to your friend but you say them to yourself!! May god bless your words today to everyone that needs to hear them!!
I just caught myself telling me how bad I looked while doing the Total Workout. I don’t have the flexibility to do all the moves yet and I was really running myself down because of it. I did realize it and am now trying to encourage myself by being grateful I can do any of it. Thanks Charlotte for addressing this very needed topic.
Interesting, at work, had a customers fabric delay. Was just thinking should change jobs than might work less. (ha) or be able to spend time at home (ha)
People are all walks of life, thank you for reminding even after 20 years in the same job. Average pay I still can change and make it better.
Had a 82 year old lady in the store, she finds working 3 days is great still can accomplish what she did in five. She helps organize 24 coperations. (billing, filing, ordering, helps the siblings get along even though they are mid thirties) Her opinion the body is meant for work.
Positive now lets hoe down!
Thank you for those wise words!
Thank you for this post! Its a blessing! I often compare myself to those “friends” that buddy or group up with the more sophisticated crowd. My husband and I just want friends to love us no matter what.
I do know they’re human too but it just hurts when its quite obvious we’re not good enough to hang out with. So, then that has me picking at myself to do things better or differently.
Not to mention, my passion in life is to serve God and be a loving wife, sweet mama and a good manager of my home. I fall short but press forward toward my goal.