This Lovely Place | Home Atmosphere | Home Management | Home Life

Chocolate Clouds

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 10:00:23 +0000

Chocolate Clouds

by Charlotte Siems

These delicate, pretty cookies are nice for a Spring brunch or ladies’ tea. But I bet everyone would eat ‘em on a weekday afternoon, too. Chocolate is always appropriate, after all.

Chocolate Clouds

3 egg whites

1/8 tsp. cream of tartar (I have left this out without harm)

¾ cup sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

2 TBS cocoa

2 cups chocolate chips

Heat oven to 300 degrees. Place foil on a cookie sheet. In mixing bowl, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until soft peaks form. Add sugar and vanilla, beating until stiff peaks form, sugar is dissolved and batter looks glossy. Add cocoa to egg white mixture, gently stir just until combined. Stir in chocolate chips.

Drop by heaping tablespoonfuls onto foil-covered cookie sheet. Bake 35 to 45 minutes or just until dry-looking. Carefully peel cookies off foil, cool on a wire rack. Makes about 2 ½ dozen cookies.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

With love,

Charlotte Siems

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You Never, You Always: The Effect of Our Words on Others

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:00:57 +0000

You Never, You Always: The Effect of Our Words on Others

by Charlotte Siems

“You’re going to drop that.” “You’re always late.” “You never notice how I look.” “Your room is always a mess.” “You never have time for me.”

Have words like these escaped your lips lately?

Yes, you’re busy. In the stress of the moment, in trying to get several things done at once, you might voice your frustration to your husband and children. The frustration (and the words) started in your head. And you’re speaking those things over your loved ones.

What happens when we hear words like these? Let’s say someone says to you, “You did a terrible job cleaning the kitchen. Here, wipe off the cabinet. Put that bag of chips away. Why didn’t you clean off the stovetop?”

Does this make you want to get right to work and do an excellent job cleaning the kitchen?

Probably not.

Instead you’re likely to feel resentful or angry. You might do the work, but probably not with enthusiasm. Being asked a “why didn’t you” question usually makes you feel defensive.

Rewind. You did a rotten job on kitchen, it’s true, but someone approached you like this: “Hey, you’ve really been working in here. I’ll put the chips away while you wipe off the cabinet. After you clean off the stovetop this kitchen is going to shine. Thanks for helping!”

Those simple words would have an entirely different effect. You might even do a few extras to make sure the kitchen looked great.

What if we expected the best from people and spoke to them accordingly? Especially those in our home?

What if we treated people better then they deserve? That’s the definition of mercy.

Most of the time people will unconsciously try to live up to expectations.

There was a wife who started saying to her husband when he was irritable and angry, “Oh, honey, that’s not like you to get angry. You’re usually so patient. You must be tired.” Within a short time her usually bad-tempered husband changed. He lived up to her expectations.

To think the best of your husband could change how you treat him, and that could very well change him. As wives, we have so much power in our husband’s lives it’s almost scary.

Instead of assuming that he meant to neglect you, assume that he’s busy and try to think how to encourage him.

Instead of being aggravated that “he only wants one thing,” (and thinking those thoughts with a martyr’s sigh), choose to anticipate and participate like you did when you were a newlywed.

Instead of saying negative, irritated words to your family, change your thoughts and then speak life-giving words to them.

Instead of accusing words like “You never” and “You always,” speak hope-filled words like “Thanks so much” and “I appreciate that.” It will change the atmosphere in your home. It could change their behavior. And it might even change you.

Please leave a comment below.

How to Get That Dreaded Task Done….and Like It

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:00:04 +0000

How to Get That Dreaded Task Done….and Like It

by Charlotte Siems

Saturday morning conjures up images of sleeping in, puttering about the house, sipping coffee and cruising the internet. Except when you have something else you HAVE to do.

A recent Saturday morning task presented me with a few problems. It was time to work on some financial reports in preparation for taxes. Procrastination had resulted in a pileup of papers and it was time to sort through and process them.

It was a daunting task, compounded by a dreary cold day and a multitude of other things I’d rather be doing. So I took myself in hand to set the stage for a more pleasant tour of duty. Here are three A’s that helped:

Atmosphere. I gathered a few things to stage a pleasant workspace: the blooming geranium from the kitchen window, a pretty little lamp, a cold glass of water, bright little children’s books to act as paper weights for the piles and a yummy candle:

Attitude. Dreading the task was not helping the situation. It was going to have to be done so may as well get busy and not think too much. I began to view the job with thankfulness that we have finances at all.

Action. It has been said that action cures fear. Do you ever feel a little silly when you get started on a dreaded task and find that it is just fine? We tend to make mental mountains out of molehill chores.

This doesn’t start with “A,” but building in some pleasant breaks and rewards brightened the day. Promising myself some Pinterest time after a certain point and stopping for a snack in another room broke up the time and kept me motivated to push a little farther.

The next time you’re faced with an un-favorite job that you’ve been putting off, think about what you could do to make it more pleasant and doable. Perhaps set a timer and just do fifteen minutes today. Tidy up the area, create some atmosphere. You may find that the task you’ve been dreading turns out to be enjoyable after all.

Got any more tips to share? Leave a comment below…

With love,

Charlotte Siems

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How Tina Saved Her Marriage

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:00:34 +0000

How Tina Saved Her Marriage

by Charlotte Siems

Do you remember your wedding day?

We were both twenty years old when we walked down the aisle to wedded bliss. It was 1980 and our bridesmaids wore peasant dresses of pastel gingham, and the groomsmen wore silver tuxedos with ruffled shirts and big bow ties. After a honeymoon to the Ozarks, we came home to our little cottage in the backyard of another house.

Home to an overdraft in our checking account, college classes, a job at a bank and the reality of married life.

It didn't take long for me to realize that I had no idea how to understand my husband or make marriage work.

After six weeks of frustration I attended a series of classes that gave me a glimmer of hope. As the years passed I learned more, applied what I learned and eventually even became a certified marriage teacher.

After one class I taught, Tina told me that what she had learned saved her marriage. She continued to say that as we spoke to her over the years.

You see, Tina had been listening to her friends and getting frustrated with her husband Philip. She was doing the things that her mother told her to do and it just wasn't working. After learning a few principles from me, the lights came on and her marriage turned around. Dramatically.

Obviously I won't have time to share everything on one call. But we'll definitely get to some life-changing truths.

The call happens in just a few days, on Monday, February 13. You still have time to get a seat.

I don't know—it may save your marriage. Or it may just help you recapture the fun and romance in your relationship.

With love,

Charlotte Siems

p.s. You might be amazed at what just a few changes will do. Get your spot on the call now.

Paper Doilies, Pizza and Love

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:00:12 +0000

Paper Doilies, Pizza and Love

by Charlotte Siems

Take the girls to the dentist and check email in the waiting room. Run to the store for the forgotten noodles. Drop off the boys at piano lessons. Throw in a load of laundry and listen to the 7-year-old read aloud. Pick up the boys and get cash at the ATM on the way home.

Everyday life requires a multitude of tasks, errands and appointments. Meanwhile the household has to be managed, the laundry done and the meals cooked. We serve our families with good intentions. We want to see them fed and clothed; we want them to stay well and be happy. But sometimes we get so busy in the ordinary-ness of life, we focus mostly on the practical mechanics of getting through our days.

That’s why I love holidays, even minor holidays like Valentine’s Day. They are little signposts through the year to remind us to celebrate and appreciate and take a break from routines.

Our family celebrates Valentine’s Day in simple ways, and it is a sweet and meaningful day. The children awake to a kitchen table decorated with a pretty tablecloth, candles and heart-shaped doilies. At each place is a Valentine card and small bag of candy, and a little box of chocolates.

The card varies from year to year. Sometimes it is a hand-written letter, some years it is a funny little card, but we always try to convey our pride and love for each child.

A box of conversation hearts is also a tradition, even if some of the children don’t like them. They still have fun spelling out messages to each other. One year I even found them in Spanish for a joke.

My husband usually takes me out to dinner for Valentine’s Day. Sometimes dinner is in our bedroom, with a card table set up with roses and candles and a lace cloth. Sometimes it is a restaurant meal, even if it is Pizza Hut. That was our choice the year our 12^th baby was an infant and we had a lovely time, as the manager had placed candles and flowers on each table, and strung white lights through the dining room. Last year it was Mexican food at our favorite ordinary restaurant, but we splurged on the shrimp and chicken fajitas, and a movie afterwards.

I’ll never forget one Valentine’s Day when our marriage had gone through a rocky season.

I have heard it said that sometimes the tide goes out on your marriage, and all you see on the beach is ugly seaweed and broken shells. Then the tide comes back in and the beauty and rhythm returns. This was such a year.

The day before Valentine’s Day, I made a decision. I planned breakfast in bed for my husband, even though I didn’t feel like doing it. I didn’t focus on my own desire to have breakfast in bed served to me. I got out the antique china, bought flowers and arose very early to cook eggs and toast. I don’t remember him being particularly thrilled or grateful, but I do remember that day being a turning point in my own attitude. I took my self-focus and blame firmly in hand and did what was right. The feelings soon followed.

Many in our society use Valentine’s Day as a way to sell stuffed bears and nighties, and to guilt men into trying to make up for all the times they’ve gotten it wrong the rest of the year. The pressure on them can be tremendous, compounded by the previous reactions of disappointment from their wives. I know it’s complicated and this date on the calendar can be painful for some.

Whatever the case, you can make the choice to reach out in love to your family and friends in simple and beautiful ways. Paper doilies and candy are inexpensive. Notes of appreciation will be treasured in years to come. Valentine’s Day is a sweet excuse to brighten life with beauty and celebration.

With love,

Charlotte Siems

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Wisdom and encouragement for wives….just a few more days to register.

Click here: Happy Marriage TeleClass

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Peanut Butter and Chocolate Treat: Buckeyes

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:00:27 +0000

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Treat: Buckeyes

by Charlotte Siems

What is a buckeye, you ask? There are three kinds of buckeyes: a brown butterfly, a nut from a bush, and a yummy peanut-butter-and-chocolate treat that actually resembles the nut.

Buckeyes are a nice homemade gift for Valentine’s Day, or an afternoon snack with a cup of coffee.

This recipe is a half-batch, which we find is enough for a little treat for the family without creating too much temptation to overindulge.

Buckeyes

¾ cup peanut butter

¼ cup butter, softened

½ tsp. vanilla

2 ½ cups powdered sugar

1 cup chocolate chips

Mix together the peanut butter, butter, vanilla and powdered sugar with your hands. Press together and form into small balls. Place on waxed paper. In microwave, melt chocolate chips. Either dip the balls into the chocolate using a toothpick or drizzle melted chocolate over the balls with a spoon. Refrigerate until the chocolate is hardened.

Try them and let me know how you like them—leave a comment below!

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Charlotte Siems is a home-maker, home manager, T-Tapp Trainer, teacher, speaker and author. Her story of losing over 100 pounds with T-Tapp has encouraged thousands of people all over the world. She specializes in making home management and T-Tapp "doable" for real people and real life. She is happy to be a wife and mother of twelve children whom she has successfully taught at home for 25 years.

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The Interrupted Life

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:00:05 +0000

The Interrupted Life

by Charlotte Siems

The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s “own,” or “real” life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day. ~ C.S. Lewis

This quote is so profound and so true that I could stop right here and you’d have plenty to think about.

To be honest, there was a time when I thought despairingly that someday I was going to write a book titled The Interrupted Life.

Speaking of interruptions, we actually have a household rule that you can’t talk to Mom while she’s in the bathroom (unless, of course, someone is bleeding profusely, which is usually not the case—rather, it is normally an argument such as, “Mom! Emily says my last name isn’t Siems!”).

Now that I’ve got a few years on me, and a few chicks have flown from the nest, I have a different perspective. All of those interruptions are life.

The baby who “interrupted” my sleep by waking several times at night to nurse.

The toddler who sleepily shuffled down the hall to “interrupt” my sacrificially early devotional time.

The six-year-old who “interrupted” my writing time to ask if I liked her gift (a box containing 44 cents, mostly pennies).

The husband who “interrupted” my evening with musings on his day when I really wanted to read.

Each of these interruptions magically become precious memories when circumstances change.

The babies and toddlers grew up and now live in dorms and other houses.

The six-year-old will be eighteen tomorrow (or so it will seem).

The husband could be taken in an instant, as we’ve seen with family and friends in tragic situations.

The point is not to live in morbid anticipation of tragedy, but to appreciate and have a realistic view of what life is right now.

We can only live right now. Not next week or ten years from now.

It helps to remember that every once in a while.

You have a choice about how you will think and respond when interruptions come. And come they will.

Whatever is sent your way, day by day, is precisely your real life.

Please share your thoughts—leave a comment below…

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Quick Tips for Spaghetti Dinners

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:00:03 +0000

Quick Tips for Spaghetti Dinners

by Charlotte Siems

Spaghetti is one of our favorite meals for large family gatherings and Sunday dinners because it’s inexpensive, easy to make in large quantities and quick to pop in the crockpot ahead of time. We usually make homemade sauce and we serve it with sauce and spaghetti separate (not mixed together).

Here are a few quick tips to make a delicious spaghetti dinner even easier:

Add a bit of oil to the spaghetti cooking water so that noodles don’t stick together.
Break the dry spaghetti in half before adding to boiling water so that the shorter noodles are a little easier to eat.
Thin spaghetti is considerably faster to cook.
Use a spaghetti server to stir the noodles in the water to separate (but don’t stir too much as it will release starch and make the spaghetti gummy).

To make ahead for Sunday dinner, put sauce ingredients in the crock of a crockpot the day before, store in the refrigerator overnight, and place the crock in the crock pot warmer early Sunday morning. Cook on high, enjoy for lunch after church. Alternatively, mix up the sauce early Sunday morning, put it in the crockpot on high and go.
Cook spaghetti noodles ahead of time and heat in the microwave if you wish. We prefer to cook them fresh just before the meal.
Less messy for little ones: lightly buttered spaghetti with parmesan cheese only.
Garlic bread in a pinch: split hot dog buns, spread with butter, sprinkle with garlic powder or garlic salt, then broil in oven.
Best use for leftover spaghetti sauce: Pizza Tot Casserole

Spaghetti makes the list of “favorite meals” for most of my (12) children. This Lovely Place is all about quick, easy and delicious when cooking for a crowd!

Leave a comment and share your quick spaghetti tips!

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Top Ten Things I Don’t Regret Doing in My Life So Far

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:00:31 +0000

Top Ten Things I Don’t Regret Doing in My Life So Far

by Charlotte Siems

I will turn 52 years old soon (the day doesn’t matter, because the birthday isn’t the point). Birthdays are usually a time of reflection and evaluation for me. Come to think of it, I’m not real sure how I got to be in my 50’s. I feel more like thirty-something.

At any rate, since it’s almost my birthday, here are the Top Ten Things I Don’t Regret Doing in My Life So Far, in no particular order:

1. Getting married young.

2. Having twelve children.

3. Homeschooling.

4. Spending tons of time with my children.

5. Marrying my husband.

6. Making a homey home.

7. Celebrating holidays, even small ones.

8. T-Tapping my way to 100-pound weight loss and becoming a T-Tapp Trainer to help and encourage others.

9. Breastfeeding and natural childbirth.

10. Being a Christian.

I realize that others make different choices for themselves and their families. These are just some things that stand out in my memory as being choices that now bring me a great deal of satisfaction.

Do I have some regrets? Of course. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not perfect. I could make a long list of things I wish I hadn’t done, and things I wish I’d known, especially as a wife and mother.

While it’s important to honestly evaluate ourselves and ask forgiveness where needed (without rationalizing or being a martyr), constantly focusing on regrets and what-ifs is a recipe for depression.

Okay, so here’s a short list of Three Things I Wish I’d Known:

1. I can choose my thoughts.

2. Kids will be adults most of their lives.

3. Most of my struggles stem from self-focus and lack of faith.

I finally realized that thinking I didn’t do anything well was a sort of false humility and self-focus. I thought I was being humble, and it turns out I was being prideful. Don’t get me started on that sermon.

Our grown children are coming in this weekend for an early birthday party for me. It warms my mother’s heart and I can’t wait to see them all. At one time in my life, presents would have been important but now I just want to see everyone together and hear their laughter.

Thanks for letting me share some birthday perspective with you.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment below.

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Do-It-Yourself Treatment for Dry Winter Hands

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 10:00:47 +0000

Do-It-Yourself Treatment for Dry Winter Hands

by Charlotte Siems

Dry, rough hands are uncomfortable any time of the year, but winter cold can make the problem worse. Give your poor hands a treat and a jumpstart towards healing with this easy “spa treatment” for your hands. Use your favorite brands for the following ingredients:

Petroleum jelly

Facial scrub (the kind with little beads or granules)

Hand soap (preferably liquid for ease of use)

Hand cream (something rich and creamy that smells delicious)

1. Slather petroleum jelly on your hands. Leave it on for a few minutes (and make sure you scratch your nose and turn on your iPod before you apply it).

2. On top of the petroleum jelly, apply facial scrub to hands and rub hands and fingers together. By now you’ve got a greasy mess on your hands.

3. Wash your hands with warm water and your favorite type of hand soap.

4. Pat dry and finish the treatment with a generous application of rich hand cream.

There! Doesn’t that feel better?

What’s your favorite solution for dry winter hands? Leave a comment below!

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