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Value This Life

Value This Life

Helping you find more joy & beauty in everyday life

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Between Business and Family: Living Your Priorities

Ask someone why they have an online business and they’re likely to flutter their eyelashes, look down modestly and say “Well, you know, my family is important and this allows me to spend more time with them.” Ask them about their dream and they’ll sigh and say “a six-figure business.” It’s possible to have both, but somewhere between business and family the priorities aren’t connecting.

The quickest way to find out what your true priorities are? Look at your calendar.

Look at it and think about how you spent the hours between opening your eyes and lunch and appointments and brushing your teeth before bed.

You have a noble idea that two of your priorities are your family and your dream of having a successful business. How much time does your calendar say that you spent on each? Go ahead and look. I’ll wait.

Did you look at your calendar and realize that you put off your daughter’s request to read aloud, you ignored your spouse’s hints at bedtime and you spent hours shopping for a planner but didn’t get around to writing a blog post?

Or maybe you worked from sunrise to midnight on aligning your sidebars and Googling business training, then consoled yourself that you were working on your dream and your family understands and when you-make-six-figures-you-will-all-go-to-Disney-World.

Hey, if you talk about your priorities and write them in your journal, but don’t live them in the daily hours, you’re fooling yourself.

Can you imagine how your child feels when he hears you tell your friends that your family is your priority but he knows that you were aggravated when he couldn’t find his other shoe because you wanted to finish answering emails? Or that you didn’t have time to eat supper with the family but you had time to make a new graphic for Pinterest?

Now I assure you that home is the best place for kids to learn that they don’t get everything they want and parents are not their personal assistants. There is nothing wrong with teaching children to wait and respect time boundaries. I’m not even saying that you have to give equal time to your family and your business.

I mean getting so focused on your business (because, after all, blog comments are more fun than laundry) that the house is in shambles and there’s no milk in the fridge and you’re constantly thinking would-those-kids-just-be- quiet-so-I-can-get-this-video-done?

Or maybe it’s cooking a full breakfast and running the school carnival and sighing I-wish-I-could-spend-more-time-on-my-business, which is a cover-up for being so afraid of putting yourself out there that it’s easier to be too busy.

Saying that your business is a priority and then putting off your newsletter and not getting around to posting on Social Media is a disconnect.

If you say your priority is one thing or another and you don’t live it, you’ll feel a constant, gnawing sense of guilt. Your brain will know you’re not doing it and it will cloud your thinking so that you feel like you’re going in circles.

Let’s not get all emotional about it. It is what it is. Step back and evaluate without a meltdown. Next, make a decision to live your priorities rather than just write them.

Get up from the computer and put in a load of laundry. Smile at your children and realize that they will be adults most of their lives. Make cookies and help with homework, yes, but let them know there are times when you work on business and these are the ways they can help.

Shake yourself awake. You might be wearing the “My Family is My Priority” t-shirt but you know you’ve been slipping. Your t-shirt might say something different but deep down you know you’re not living it and it’s time to get back to it.

You will be surprised at the clarity and relief you feel when you truly live your priorities.

It really comes down to the small choices. Determining to read aloud to your preschooler after lunch every day adds up to a lot of books. Making a decision (and following through) to write two blog posts a week adds up to 104 blog posts in a year. Figure out small ways to live your priorities and before you know it, you’ll be living your priorities.

There’s no perfect way to do this so don’t try. But stay sensitive to the small moments and think about where each of them leads. You don’t necessarily have to be the one cleaning the bathroom, but you’re the only one who can look into the eyes of your family and be patient and see things from their perspective.

Get rid of the vague sense of guilt by telling yourself the truth about your calendar. Decide what is really important to you, then actually do it. It’s so simple you’ll wonder why you didn’t think of it before. When your calendar and your priorities are a good match, you’re on your way to that life you dream of.

 

**This post by Charlotte also appeared at KimGarst.com

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About Charlotte

I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU!

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I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU! Read More…

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valuethislife

valuethislife
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to get by with the barebones of running the household—but we skip the joy, comfort and encouragement part.   We trade an artful arrangement of beautiful things on the coffee table for a stack of newspapers and mail. The TV takes the place of a board game. Irritation with our family flavors our speech.   Sometimes this happens so slowly that we barely notice it, and then one day we realize that our home life is out of sorts.  With that realization comes the choice to fix those little things. Tidy up the clutter, get the laundry caught up, read aloud to children, and set a pretty table for an ordinary supper.  Look around your home with fresh eyes to see if it needs a reset. Even 20 minutes of tidying can make an amazing difference.❤️
Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power ha Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power has been out for 2+ days, grateful for a generator and hot water. I figured out that complaining doesn’t make electricity come back on. 😊
Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthst Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthstones of our children but we never found a design with 12 stones. 💍 It was a forgotten wish until I received this bracelet as a sweet gift. I can rattle off their birthdates like a boss but sometimes the size of our family still surprises me. It grew one baby at a time and I grew along with them, like all mothers do. There’s no rewind button, and we can’t go back and have a do-over. But we can be grateful during EVERY season for what we have, and I am!❤️
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” Not “they that complaineth much” or “they that talk about their issues all day long.” I’m guessing that “not waiting” means sucking the life out of strength instead of renewing it. But waiting can begin in this very moment. 
•
(pic from my kitchen window)😊
Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a t Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a task, but we all love how it feels when the task is done. Maybe it would help to think about how good the result will feel before we start!
Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before 14yo could mix up cookie dough. 
👉🏻Note to self:
Don’t wait until it’s time to do a task to check whether you have what you need to do it. Realizing you’re short on supplies or information at the last minute costs time and causes stress! Knowing that you’re prepared eases the pain of getting started. Put “check for ingredients” on your to-do list!
How much life do we waste worrying and fretting an How much life do we waste worrying and fretting and dreading....when the thing we’re upset about IS GOING TO GET DONE?! It’s going to happen, it’s all going to work out, and we probably won’t even remember it by next week. Sometimes it helps to remember that!💕
We bought a house built in the 80’s and have bee We bought a house built in the 80’s and have been doing that fixer upper thing. Sorry for the blurry “before” but just think “black hole” and you’ll get the idea.😂 Amazing what paint and decor can do for a space. Sold the old mantel on FB Marketplace for $60 and bought the unfinished new one for $45. Found the print in my garage, lol. Mirror from Hobby Lobby. Sorta reminds me of my life pre-Jesus. Dark to light. Old to new. Same basic human, transformed with light and love.❤️
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Looking For Something?

valuethislife

valuethislife
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to get by with the barebones of running the household—but we skip the joy, comfort and encouragement part.   We trade an artful arrangement of beautiful things on the coffee table for a stack of newspapers and mail. The TV takes the place of a board game. Irritation with our family flavors our speech.   Sometimes this happens so slowly that we barely notice it, and then one day we realize that our home life is out of sorts.  With that realization comes the choice to fix those little things. Tidy up the clutter, get the laundry caught up, read aloud to children, and set a pretty table for an ordinary supper.  Look around your home with fresh eyes to see if it needs a reset. Even 20 minutes of tidying can make an amazing difference.❤️
Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power ha Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power has been out for 2+ days, grateful for a generator and hot water. I figured out that complaining doesn’t make electricity come back on. 😊
Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthst Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthstones of our children but we never found a design with 12 stones. 💍 It was a forgotten wish until I received this bracelet as a sweet gift. I can rattle off their birthdates like a boss but sometimes the size of our family still surprises me. It grew one baby at a time and I grew along with them, like all mothers do. There’s no rewind button, and we can’t go back and have a do-over. But we can be grateful during EVERY season for what we have, and I am!❤️
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” Not “they that complaineth much” or “they that talk about their issues all day long.” I’m guessing that “not waiting” means sucking the life out of strength instead of renewing it. But waiting can begin in this very moment. 
•
(pic from my kitchen window)😊
Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a t Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a task, but we all love how it feels when the task is done. Maybe it would help to think about how good the result will feel before we start!
Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before 14yo could mix up cookie dough. 
👉🏻Note to self:
Don’t wait until it’s time to do a task to check whether you have what you need to do it. Realizing you’re short on supplies or information at the last minute costs time and causes stress! Knowing that you’re prepared eases the pain of getting started. Put “check for ingredients” on your to-do list!
How much life do we waste worrying and fretting an How much life do we waste worrying and fretting and dreading....when the thing we’re upset about IS GOING TO GET DONE?! It’s going to happen, it’s all going to work out, and we probably won’t even remember it by next week. Sometimes it helps to remember that!💕
We bought a house built in the 80’s and have bee We bought a house built in the 80’s and have been doing that fixer upper thing. Sorry for the blurry “before” but just think “black hole” and you’ll get the idea.😂 Amazing what paint and decor can do for a space. Sold the old mantel on FB Marketplace for $60 and bought the unfinished new one for $45. Found the print in my garage, lol. Mirror from Hobby Lobby. Sorta reminds me of my life pre-Jesus. Dark to light. Old to new. Same basic human, transformed with light and love.❤️
Follow on Instagram
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