How to Dump the Excuses and Do the T-Tapp

“I can’t exercise because I don’t have time.” “I would exercise regularly if I didn’t have all these kids.” “I meant to T-Tapp, but I couldn’t because ‘this’ happened.” “I couldn’t do my T-Tapp workout because ________” (you fill in the blank).  Excuses, excuses. We all make them. Sometimes we make them so convincing we even believe them.
[break][/break]Now I’m not talking about “excuses” that are actually BIG reasons for something: “I couldn’t do my workout this morning because I broke my leg in two places last night.” “I can’t come to the party because my son is getting married at that time.”
[break][/break]If our first reaction and defense about making excuses is to search for the exceptions, that’s a clue to the health of our thinking.
[break][/break]Kathy Ireland recently said, “Excuses are undignified and they don’t absolve you anyway.” We had a little family discussion about this statement in the van today. We came to the conclusion that when we give excuses for something it doesn’t often make other people see us in a better light. It might help them understand us or the situation, but it doesn’t absolve us of responsibility.
[break][/break]Someone said “an excuse is a well-planned lie.” Ouch.
[break][/break]So if we shouldn’t make excuses, what can we do? Take personal responsibility for our CHOICES. This actually relieves guilt in many cases. Instead of thinking “I was ‘too busy’ to do my workout this morning,” tell yourself the truth: “I chose not to work out this morning. I am responsible for the consequences of my choice.” Instead of “I couldn’t go to work this morning because my daughter was sick,” realize that “I chose to stay home from work today to care for my daughter.”
[break][/break]Removing the blame and helplessness is empowering. Remember that negative emotions are usually caused by blaming someone else for something. You made a choice. You are responsible for the outcome.  And you can certainly make a decision to make a different choice now.
[break][/break]If you automatically default to an excuse to explain why you haven’t done something you know you should do, you’re setting the stage for guilt, blame and other toxic emotions. When you take responsibility for your choices, you clear the way for peace and better choices.
[break][/break]Try this today: Be aware of how often you make excuses, and determine to change that reaction to taking responsibility. You might be surprised at how free and strong you feel!
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6 Comments

  1. Chatzakity says:

    The truth may not always be nice to hear, but honesty really is the best policy!! :))

  2. Amen!  AND excuses never get us where we’re trying to go….

  3. Janie Ballenger says:

    This was powerful Charlotte!  I am a BIG advocate of taking responsibility and owning your actions, attitudes, and words.

  4. My husband learned this poem while in college and we now teach it to our children:
    “Excuses are tools of incompetence that build monuments of nothingness.  Those who are good at excuses are seldom good at anything else.” Personal responsibility is one of our favorite discussions and pursuits! Thanks for your post! 🙂

  5. Johanne aka Clarity says:

    I had “no other choice” but to come and to write 🙂

    AMEN indeed.  The post is a Breath of fresh air !    I am more diligent on this way of being honest with ME.  The others… it can be perceived as I am or not (perception is very powerful) so.. cannot control that, but being honest with ME that’s my responsibility and I’m much better as being awake on my choices even when I think (a tiny bit, somewhere inside) that I have no choice — which right there is not true because the definition of choice is:

    1. The act of choosing; selection.
    2. The power, right, or liberty to choose; option.
    3. One that is chosen.
    4. A number or variety from which to choose: a wide choice of styles and colors.
    5. The best or most preferable part.
    6. Care in choosing.
    7. An alternative.

    So by “definition” having a choice is… having at least 2 options!

    There you go. 

    WE have at least 2 OPTIONS … always in every moment of our life. Isn’t it great?  I think it is.

    I’m very grateful to know and being aware that I have the CHOICE of my act, words, behaviors.  
     
    Sending BIG HUGS to the wonderful SIEMS Family …
    xo..

    1. Anonymous says:

      Great post, Johanne–I think YOU should have a blog!

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