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Value This Life

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On Not Believing in Ourselves

Human eye on blue background

“I just don’t believe in myself.”

“Others can, but it’s not for me.”

“I just don’t think I can do it.”

Sound familiar? Boy, these words are certainly familiar to me, because I said them to myself many times. There’s a line in a Dr. Seuss story that says “I said and said and said those words. I said them, but I lied them.” They were lies because they were simply not true. But I chose to keep the lie going.

What am I talking about? Well, all those things I’ve wanted to do but talked myself out of doing. All the times I slowed myself down or blocked myself from moving ahead. The days I wasted comparing myself and always coming up short.

“Not believing in myself” sounds humble but it’s really a form of pride. Self-focus is the root of pride, and constantly berating ourselves is most definitely self-focus.

It may seem noble to say “I don’t believe in myself” but mostly we’re using it as a coverup for fear. God already believes in us. He’s got stuff for us to do. Are we saying that we’re smarter than Him?

When we tell ourselves the bedtime story of not believing in ourselves enough times, we memorize it and internalize it, and it becomes our lifetime story. We get comfortable in that role of small confidence. We reinforce it by speaking it and thinking it, and carefully explaining it to others who just don’t get it. They look at us and think “Well, of COURSE you can,” but we insist on maintaining our carefully constructed self-image.

Maybe somebody lent us those beliefs long ago. No matter. We can choose to give them back.

As long as we tell everyone we don’t believe in ourselves, it lets us off the hook to do bigger things. Deep, deep down we know we can, but it’s safe and familiar to remain un-confident. We sigh and look at others who have done the things we know we can do, and tell ourselves that they’ve *got it* and we don’t….but we do.

If our first reaction is to rush to explain why we’re different, that’s a clue that we’re protecting our position. After all, if we quit telling everyone we don’t believe in ourselves, what will stand in our way? Won’t that be scary and big and hairy? Maybe so, but it will also be freedom and light and truth.

Maybe I’m the only one who needed to shine a light on myself and what I’ve been believing about myself for far too long. Or rather, what story I told myself so often that I believed.

All I know is that some serious boldness is rising up in me to declare one of my life verses:

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.

That doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t believe in herself. It sounds like someone who knows that she’s got everything she needs for everything she’s been given to do.

No more speaking, thinking or believing lies. I believe in myself.

 

 

 

 

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About Charlotte

I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU!

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Comments

  1. Adina @ Royal Blessings says

    March 11, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    Oh my goodness I needed this so much! I’m the first one to stay behind my little wall and not step out and do the things I really want to because I’m afraid and think I can’t do any of it. I’m glad to see I’m not alone! Thank you for writing what was on your heart!

    Reply

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I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU! Read More…

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valuethislife

valuethislife
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to get by with the barebones of running the household—but we skip the joy, comfort and encouragement part.   We trade an artful arrangement of beautiful things on the coffee table for a stack of newspapers and mail. The TV takes the place of a board game. Irritation with our family flavors our speech.   Sometimes this happens so slowly that we barely notice it, and then one day we realize that our home life is out of sorts.  With that realization comes the choice to fix those little things. Tidy up the clutter, get the laundry caught up, read aloud to children, and set a pretty table for an ordinary supper.  Look around your home with fresh eyes to see if it needs a reset. Even 20 minutes of tidying can make an amazing difference.❤️
Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power ha Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power has been out for 2+ days, grateful for a generator and hot water. I figured out that complaining doesn’t make electricity come back on. 😊
Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthst Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthstones of our children but we never found a design with 12 stones. 💍 It was a forgotten wish until I received this bracelet as a sweet gift. I can rattle off their birthdates like a boss but sometimes the size of our family still surprises me. It grew one baby at a time and I grew along with them, like all mothers do. There’s no rewind button, and we can’t go back and have a do-over. But we can be grateful during EVERY season for what we have, and I am!❤️
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” Not “they that complaineth much” or “they that talk about their issues all day long.” I’m guessing that “not waiting” means sucking the life out of strength instead of renewing it. But waiting can begin in this very moment. 
•
(pic from my kitchen window)😊
Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a t Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a task, but we all love how it feels when the task is done. Maybe it would help to think about how good the result will feel before we start!
Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before 14yo could mix up cookie dough. 
👉🏻Note to self:
Don’t wait until it’s time to do a task to check whether you have what you need to do it. Realizing you’re short on supplies or information at the last minute costs time and causes stress! Knowing that you’re prepared eases the pain of getting started. Put “check for ingredients” on your to-do list!
How much life do we waste worrying and fretting an How much life do we waste worrying and fretting and dreading....when the thing we’re upset about IS GOING TO GET DONE?! It’s going to happen, it’s all going to work out, and we probably won’t even remember it by next week. Sometimes it helps to remember that!💕
We bought a house built in the 80’s and have bee We bought a house built in the 80’s and have been doing that fixer upper thing. Sorry for the blurry “before” but just think “black hole” and you’ll get the idea.😂 Amazing what paint and decor can do for a space. Sold the old mantel on FB Marketplace for $60 and bought the unfinished new one for $45. Found the print in my garage, lol. Mirror from Hobby Lobby. Sorta reminds me of my life pre-Jesus. Dark to light. Old to new. Same basic human, transformed with light and love.❤️
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Looking For Something?

valuethislife

valuethislife
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to get by with the barebones of running the household—but we skip the joy, comfort and encouragement part.   We trade an artful arrangement of beautiful things on the coffee table for a stack of newspapers and mail. The TV takes the place of a board game. Irritation with our family flavors our speech.   Sometimes this happens so slowly that we barely notice it, and then one day we realize that our home life is out of sorts.  With that realization comes the choice to fix those little things. Tidy up the clutter, get the laundry caught up, read aloud to children, and set a pretty table for an ordinary supper.  Look around your home with fresh eyes to see if it needs a reset. Even 20 minutes of tidying can make an amazing difference.❤️
Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power ha Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power has been out for 2+ days, grateful for a generator and hot water. I figured out that complaining doesn’t make electricity come back on. 😊
Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthst Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthstones of our children but we never found a design with 12 stones. 💍 It was a forgotten wish until I received this bracelet as a sweet gift. I can rattle off their birthdates like a boss but sometimes the size of our family still surprises me. It grew one baby at a time and I grew along with them, like all mothers do. There’s no rewind button, and we can’t go back and have a do-over. But we can be grateful during EVERY season for what we have, and I am!❤️
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” Not “they that complaineth much” or “they that talk about their issues all day long.” I’m guessing that “not waiting” means sucking the life out of strength instead of renewing it. But waiting can begin in this very moment. 
•
(pic from my kitchen window)😊
Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a t Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a task, but we all love how it feels when the task is done. Maybe it would help to think about how good the result will feel before we start!
Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before 14yo could mix up cookie dough. 
👉🏻Note to self:
Don’t wait until it’s time to do a task to check whether you have what you need to do it. Realizing you’re short on supplies or information at the last minute costs time and causes stress! Knowing that you’re prepared eases the pain of getting started. Put “check for ingredients” on your to-do list!
How much life do we waste worrying and fretting an How much life do we waste worrying and fretting and dreading....when the thing we’re upset about IS GOING TO GET DONE?! It’s going to happen, it’s all going to work out, and we probably won’t even remember it by next week. Sometimes it helps to remember that!💕
We bought a house built in the 80’s and have bee We bought a house built in the 80’s and have been doing that fixer upper thing. Sorry for the blurry “before” but just think “black hole” and you’ll get the idea.😂 Amazing what paint and decor can do for a space. Sold the old mantel on FB Marketplace for $60 and bought the unfinished new one for $45. Found the print in my garage, lol. Mirror from Hobby Lobby. Sorta reminds me of my life pre-Jesus. Dark to light. Old to new. Same basic human, transformed with light and love.❤️
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