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Value This Life

Value This Life

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On Not Believing in Ourselves

Human eye on blue background

“I just don’t believe in myself.”

“Others can, but it’s not for me.”

“I just don’t think I can do it.”

Sound familiar? Boy, these words are certainly familiar to me, because I said them to myself many times. There’s a line in a Dr. Seuss story that says “I said and said and said those words. I said them, but I lied them.” They were lies because they were simply not true. But I chose to keep the lie going.

What am I talking about? Well, all those things I’ve wanted to do but talked myself out of doing. All the times I slowed myself down or blocked myself from moving ahead. The days I wasted comparing myself and always coming up short.

“Not believing in myself” sounds humble but it’s really a form of pride. Self-focus is the root of pride, and constantly berating ourselves is most definitely self-focus.

It may seem noble to say “I don’t believe in myself” but mostly we’re using it as a coverup for fear. God already believes in us. He’s got stuff for us to do. Are we saying that we’re smarter than Him?

When we tell ourselves the bedtime story of not believing in ourselves enough times, we memorize it and internalize it, and it becomes our lifetime story. We get comfortable in that role of small confidence. We reinforce it by speaking it and thinking it, and carefully explaining it to others who just don’t get it. They look at us and think “Well, of COURSE you can,” but we insist on maintaining our carefully constructed self-image.

Maybe somebody lent us those beliefs long ago. No matter. We can choose to give them back.

As long as we tell everyone we don’t believe in ourselves, it lets us off the hook to do bigger things. Deep, deep down we know we can, but it’s safe and familiar to remain un-confident. We sigh and look at others who have done the things we know we can do, and tell ourselves that they’ve *got it* and we don’t….but we do.

If our first reaction is to rush to explain why we’re different, that’s a clue that we’re protecting our position. After all, if we quit telling everyone we don’t believe in ourselves, what will stand in our way? Won’t that be scary and big and hairy? Maybe so, but it will also be freedom and light and truth.

Maybe I’m the only one who needed to shine a light on myself and what I’ve been believing about myself for far too long. Or rather, what story I told myself so often that I believed.

All I know is that some serious boldness is rising up in me to declare one of my life verses:

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.

That doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t believe in herself. It sounds like someone who knows that she’s got everything she needs for everything she’s been given to do.

No more speaking, thinking or believing lies. I believe in myself.

 

 

 

 

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About Charlotte

I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU!

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Comments

  1. Adina @ Royal Blessings says

    March 11, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    Oh my goodness I needed this so much! I’m the first one to stay behind my little wall and not step out and do the things I really want to because I’m afraid and think I can’t do any of it. I’m glad to see I’m not alone! Thank you for writing what was on your heart!

    Reply

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I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU! Read More…

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valuethislife

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Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot in cosmetology school so we threw a family beauty-themed party. Not one homemade decoration or treat, nothing fancy or overwhelming!  We just gathered stuff around the house for the theme and bought inexpensive party trimmings. Frozen cream puffs, mini cookies and candy (Easter colors were perfect), and “Bugles” for “nail tips.”  Done! Better a simple party with fun than a fancy party with stress!
I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beau I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beautiful. Why should we be embarrassed to admit that? Spring flowers, Fall leaves, Winter snowflakes and Summer sunsets are all beautiful. Different colors, textures and sizes—but each exquisite. What could change if you looked in the mirror with LOVE and appreciation for YOUR one-of-a-kind beauty?💕
The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot for a seasonal arrangement. Tiny red berries and antique gold branches were added for Christmas. Orange bittersweet stems and scattered leaves could give it a Fall feel. A pretty arrangement helps keep the dresser top from getting cluttered with mail and coins and papers. Your bedroom is the first and last thing you see every day, so give yourself a visual treat—something that YOU enjoy seeing.🌷
Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special f Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special for Easter! Mini Robin Eggs turn the cookies into tiny nests. Recipe for the cookies and Resurrection Rolls over at the blog!
Easter week and we need all the energy and happy b Easter week and we need all the energy and happy brain we can get! Thicker hair and strong nails are kinda nice, too. Quick and simple is my mom jam, so mixing it all together works great. Some “plant stuff” tastes like grass clippings, this isn’t that. 😂 I can help you choose, let’s chat!
Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t have to pull up a chair and turn on a movie for them. Don’t let them hang around long enough to bring you down and shape your emotions. Show them the door and turn your attention to thoughts that serve you well. Think on THOSE things. 💕
My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big wind My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big windows, almost ceiling to floor. Give me all the light! Favorite thing about photo filters: they camouflage dirty windows. **cat unintentionally included in scene, literally came out of nowhere 😳
“Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkl “Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkly eyeshadow.” Fashion advice I’m NOT listening to.💋Eyeshadow is the most FUN part of makeup for me, and I love variety! Many women prefer neutral/natural/no-makeup looks. Y’all go ahead! You do you! I’ll be over here with the purples and blues and greens and alllll the shimmers.😂💄What’s YOUR makeup look?
I don’t remember how it started, but decorating I don’t remember how it started, but decorating for the seasons has been part of the rhythm of our family life for years. I was determined to create a home where good memories could be made. Small holidays and seasonal touches mark the passage of time and anchor traditions. Sometimes the decor is very simple, sometimes more elaborate—but I’m always glad I made the effort!
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valuethislife

valuethislife
Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot in cosmetology school so we threw a family beauty-themed party. Not one homemade decoration or treat, nothing fancy or overwhelming!  We just gathered stuff around the house for the theme and bought inexpensive party trimmings. Frozen cream puffs, mini cookies and candy (Easter colors were perfect), and “Bugles” for “nail tips.”  Done! Better a simple party with fun than a fancy party with stress!
I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beau I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beautiful. Why should we be embarrassed to admit that? Spring flowers, Fall leaves, Winter snowflakes and Summer sunsets are all beautiful. Different colors, textures and sizes—but each exquisite. What could change if you looked in the mirror with LOVE and appreciation for YOUR one-of-a-kind beauty?💕
The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot for a seasonal arrangement. Tiny red berries and antique gold branches were added for Christmas. Orange bittersweet stems and scattered leaves could give it a Fall feel. A pretty arrangement helps keep the dresser top from getting cluttered with mail and coins and papers. Your bedroom is the first and last thing you see every day, so give yourself a visual treat—something that YOU enjoy seeing.🌷
Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special f Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special for Easter! Mini Robin Eggs turn the cookies into tiny nests. Recipe for the cookies and Resurrection Rolls over at the blog!
Easter week and we need all the energy and happy b Easter week and we need all the energy and happy brain we can get! Thicker hair and strong nails are kinda nice, too. Quick and simple is my mom jam, so mixing it all together works great. Some “plant stuff” tastes like grass clippings, this isn’t that. 😂 I can help you choose, let’s chat!
Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t have to pull up a chair and turn on a movie for them. Don’t let them hang around long enough to bring you down and shape your emotions. Show them the door and turn your attention to thoughts that serve you well. Think on THOSE things. 💕
My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big wind My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big windows, almost ceiling to floor. Give me all the light! Favorite thing about photo filters: they camouflage dirty windows. **cat unintentionally included in scene, literally came out of nowhere 😳
“Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkl “Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkly eyeshadow.” Fashion advice I’m NOT listening to.💋Eyeshadow is the most FUN part of makeup for me, and I love variety! Many women prefer neutral/natural/no-makeup looks. Y’all go ahead! You do you! I’ll be over here with the purples and blues and greens and alllll the shimmers.😂💄What’s YOUR makeup look?
I don’t remember how it started, but decorating I don’t remember how it started, but decorating for the seasons has been part of the rhythm of our family life for years. I was determined to create a home where good memories could be made. Small holidays and seasonal touches mark the passage of time and anchor traditions. Sometimes the decor is very simple, sometimes more elaborate—but I’m always glad I made the effort!
Follow on Instagram
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