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Value This Life

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Quick Fix for an Overwhelmed Mom

overwhelmed-mom-busy-desktop

Post updated September 12, 2018

Overwhelm has been defined as “too much emotional going on,” and that’s certainly how it feels for an overwhelmed mom. I ought to know, because I’ve lived it far too often. As moms we have plenty going on, but pile on the emotional “too much” and it’s a recipe for stress and a meltdown. There are plenty of shifts you can make in your life to help with stress, but an overwhelmed mom needs a quick fix NOW!

One of the great lessons of my 50’s has been to stop bringing in the stress and to-do’s of tomorrow and next week and next summer into today, because then I miss today. Over the past few months I’ve found something that acts as a quick fix for overwhelm. I’ve used this tool for a while and it works so well I want to tell you about it.

The Swirling Thoughts of an Overwhelmed Mom

Part of overwhelm is swirling thoughts and sweeping generalizations. What’s a sweeping generalization, you ask? Thoughts and words like “I always” and “You never” and “Nobody ever.” Those sweeping general statements are NOT  true but we believe the story when we tell it to ourselves. Thought of always and never press in upon us, adding a heavy–but false–weight to our already spinning minds.

The other part of overwhelm is the real press of responsibilities and tasks. Yes, there is a lot to do. We’re not trying to deny the reality of your world. But often it’s not so much the tasks, it’s how we think about all of it.

So what’s a good way to stop overwhelm in its tracks before it progresses to a meltdown?

Quick Fix for an Overwhelmed Mom

Try this: When you feel the stress rising and the panic ensuing, get out some paper (hopefully your journal). But don’t necessarily write about all that’s going on. I have old journals from my young mom years, and they’re full of complaints and self-pity. Not sure that helped much, except to reinforce the despair. No, don’t write your emotions at this moment.

Instead, write your gratitude.

Make a simple list of things you’re grateful for. 

For scientific reasons (and I don’t know what they are), use white paper and a blue pen. I do think it’s best to put pen to paper, but in a pinch use a gratitude journal app on your phone.

Writing your gratitude will shift your focus from “what a big mess” to “what a great God.”

It will help put things in perspective and equip you to deal with what’s at hand, because you won’t be blowing it all out of proportion anymore. We get in trouble when we start focusing on the problems and the what-if’s….and we’re not thinking “what if it all works out,” believe me.

If you know someone who is successful, it’s because they’re NOT watering and fertilizing their fears and anxieties.

Why We Get Overwhelmed

And in the end, that’s really what overwhelm is:  fear that we’re not enough, fear that we can’t do it all, fear that it’s not going to work out, fear that there isn’t enough “us” to go around.

Try this quick fix for overwhelm and see if it helps. It’s best to catch the overwhelm at 1 or 2 on a scale of 10. If you let it go till it’s an 8, it’s going to take tears and a bubble bath to get back on track. We may not have control over the toxic thoughts that pop into our heads, but we DO have control over how long we think them and the importance we assign to them.

Focus on what you’re grateful for, write it down and feel the stress dissolve. If you’re driving or otherwise unable to write, think and speak your gratitude out loud.

I’ve tested this method for not only small daily stresses, but also for times when I’ve been in a season of heartbreak or heavy anxiety about a family situation. I found that gratitude turned naturally into prayer, instead of toxic thoughts spiraling out of control into anguish.

So if you’re an overwhelmed mom…or child…or aunt…or person…try gratitude as a quick fix, then make it a way of life.

You Might Also Like:

  • How to Stop Feeling Busy All the TimeHow to Stop Feeling Busy All the Time
  • When You Want to Be An Organized MomWhen You Want to Be An Organized Mom
  • 5 Things I Wish I’d Known as a Young Mom5 Things I Wish I’d Known as a Young Mom
  • Three Minutes Can Change Your DayThree Minutes Can Change Your Day

About Charlotte

I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kayla says

    January 16, 2015 at 6:58 am

    Thanks Charlotte! Having had a big meltdown last week over homeschooling overwhelm, I really appreciate this advice. Exactly what I need. I’ve kept a gratitude journal in they past, but haven’t kept it up and I’ve been having struggles with becoming overwhelmed on a regular basis. Time to get back to it. I know it works.

    Reply
    • Charlotte Siems says

      January 16, 2015 at 8:19 pm

      I think we all need a reminder from time to time! Glad it was good timing for you…

      Reply
  2. Sharon says

    January 16, 2015 at 10:01 am

    I had been thinking about gratitude for a while and t-tapp, too. I am doing the t-tapp 60-day challenge un-officially but with total dedication. This is just what I needed to hear. I enjoy reading your emails and website because you’re so thoughtful and heartfelt. Your name is going on white paper with blue pen.

    Reply
    • Charlotte Siems says

      January 16, 2015 at 8:19 pm

      Aww–what a nice thought, to make it into your gratitude journal!

      Reply
  3. Devon says

    January 16, 2015 at 11:15 am

    You’re great! Thanks for the excellent reminder! I get so many emails each day but I always read yours because they are truly inspiring. God bless you and yours.

    Reply
    • Charlotte Siems says

      January 16, 2015 at 8:20 pm

      I really appreciate that, Devon!!

      Reply
  4. Gayle says

    January 16, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    I can certainly “Amen” this! This last Christmas made it to an “11” on the scale… not only did I lose it, but my sweet son-in-law tied into me, which has never ever happened before. Agonizing over it later, I realized I had not written in my journal for quite a long time. And I had slipped back into the habit of mentally complaining about all the things that people (including “God”) expected me to do.

    On the other hand, when my son passed away a couple of years ago, I was in the habit of writing daily gratitude lists. So automatically, that is what I did– looked for things to be grateful for, even in such sorrow. And there was much to thank God for. There always is.

    Since Christmas, I have been grateful to realize how He has been there to pick me up from my dumps, encourage me to press on, and help me know that there is “no pit so deep that His love is not deeper still.” (Corrie ten Boom) And that “Yes, I can!” do all things through Him who strengthens me. 🙂

    Reply
    • Charlotte Siems says

      January 21, 2015 at 7:05 pm

      Gayle, you’ve been through so much. I hope that focusing on gratitude will lift your spirits and encourage you. {{Hugs}}

      Reply
  5. Lisa says

    September 13, 2018 at 7:51 am

    This was perfect for me today!!! My daughter is getting married in Rock Hill, SC a week from Saturday. On top of all the last minute wedding craziness, we are now concerned about hurricane Florence! Thanks for this reminder to focus on what I am grateful for!

    Reply
  6. Laura Halbur says

    September 13, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    Thanks for the reminder, Charlotte! Last fall I attended a Healing Event in which the biggest take away was that God inhabits the praises of His people. Sing praise to God, even if you “just” read the Psalms. Journaling a gratitude list really helped when I had a miscarriage at the age of 46 in 2017. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

    Reply

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I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU! Read More…

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Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot in cosmetology school so we threw a family beauty-themed party. Not one homemade decoration or treat, nothing fancy or overwhelming!  We just gathered stuff around the house for the theme and bought inexpensive party trimmings. Frozen cream puffs, mini cookies and candy (Easter colors were perfect), and “Bugles” for “nail tips.”  Done! Better a simple party with fun than a fancy party with stress!
I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beau I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beautiful. Why should we be embarrassed to admit that? Spring flowers, Fall leaves, Winter snowflakes and Summer sunsets are all beautiful. Different colors, textures and sizes—but each exquisite. What could change if you looked in the mirror with LOVE and appreciation for YOUR one-of-a-kind beauty?💕
The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot for a seasonal arrangement. Tiny red berries and antique gold branches were added for Christmas. Orange bittersweet stems and scattered leaves could give it a Fall feel. A pretty arrangement helps keep the dresser top from getting cluttered with mail and coins and papers. Your bedroom is the first and last thing you see every day, so give yourself a visual treat—something that YOU enjoy seeing.🌷
Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special f Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special for Easter! Mini Robin Eggs turn the cookies into tiny nests. Recipe for the cookies and Resurrection Rolls over at the blog!
Easter week and we need all the energy and happy b Easter week and we need all the energy and happy brain we can get! Thicker hair and strong nails are kinda nice, too. Quick and simple is my mom jam, so mixing it all together works great. Some “plant stuff” tastes like grass clippings, this isn’t that. 😂 I can help you choose, let’s chat!
Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t have to pull up a chair and turn on a movie for them. Don’t let them hang around long enough to bring you down and shape your emotions. Show them the door and turn your attention to thoughts that serve you well. Think on THOSE things. 💕
My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big wind My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big windows, almost ceiling to floor. Give me all the light! Favorite thing about photo filters: they camouflage dirty windows. **cat unintentionally included in scene, literally came out of nowhere 😳
“Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkl “Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkly eyeshadow.” Fashion advice I’m NOT listening to.💋Eyeshadow is the most FUN part of makeup for me, and I love variety! Many women prefer neutral/natural/no-makeup looks. Y’all go ahead! You do you! I’ll be over here with the purples and blues and greens and alllll the shimmers.😂💄What’s YOUR makeup look?
I don’t remember how it started, but decorating I don’t remember how it started, but decorating for the seasons has been part of the rhythm of our family life for years. I was determined to create a home where good memories could be made. Small holidays and seasonal touches mark the passage of time and anchor traditions. Sometimes the decor is very simple, sometimes more elaborate—but I’m always glad I made the effort!
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valuethislife

valuethislife
Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot in cosmetology school so we threw a family beauty-themed party. Not one homemade decoration or treat, nothing fancy or overwhelming!  We just gathered stuff around the house for the theme and bought inexpensive party trimmings. Frozen cream puffs, mini cookies and candy (Easter colors were perfect), and “Bugles” for “nail tips.”  Done! Better a simple party with fun than a fancy party with stress!
I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beau I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beautiful. Why should we be embarrassed to admit that? Spring flowers, Fall leaves, Winter snowflakes and Summer sunsets are all beautiful. Different colors, textures and sizes—but each exquisite. What could change if you looked in the mirror with LOVE and appreciation for YOUR one-of-a-kind beauty?💕
The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot for a seasonal arrangement. Tiny red berries and antique gold branches were added for Christmas. Orange bittersweet stems and scattered leaves could give it a Fall feel. A pretty arrangement helps keep the dresser top from getting cluttered with mail and coins and papers. Your bedroom is the first and last thing you see every day, so give yourself a visual treat—something that YOU enjoy seeing.🌷
Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special f Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special for Easter! Mini Robin Eggs turn the cookies into tiny nests. Recipe for the cookies and Resurrection Rolls over at the blog!
Easter week and we need all the energy and happy b Easter week and we need all the energy and happy brain we can get! Thicker hair and strong nails are kinda nice, too. Quick and simple is my mom jam, so mixing it all together works great. Some “plant stuff” tastes like grass clippings, this isn’t that. 😂 I can help you choose, let’s chat!
Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t have to pull up a chair and turn on a movie for them. Don’t let them hang around long enough to bring you down and shape your emotions. Show them the door and turn your attention to thoughts that serve you well. Think on THOSE things. 💕
My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big wind My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big windows, almost ceiling to floor. Give me all the light! Favorite thing about photo filters: they camouflage dirty windows. **cat unintentionally included in scene, literally came out of nowhere 😳
“Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkl “Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkly eyeshadow.” Fashion advice I’m NOT listening to.💋Eyeshadow is the most FUN part of makeup for me, and I love variety! Many women prefer neutral/natural/no-makeup looks. Y’all go ahead! You do you! I’ll be over here with the purples and blues and greens and alllll the shimmers.😂💄What’s YOUR makeup look?
I don’t remember how it started, but decorating I don’t remember how it started, but decorating for the seasons has been part of the rhythm of our family life for years. I was determined to create a home where good memories could be made. Small holidays and seasonal touches mark the passage of time and anchor traditions. Sometimes the decor is very simple, sometimes more elaborate—but I’m always glad I made the effort!
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