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Value This Life

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Simple Tools to Get Beyond Stress and Overwhelm

stressandoverwhelm

The calendar is filling up. Choir has begun, along with Bible quizzing. Speaking and teaching events are coming up. A week-long trip out of state is looming on the horizon. And that doesn’t even count the laundry.

I caught myself getting overwhelmed today. Catching myself was a good thing. There was a time when I would not have recognized the symptoms until I was careening downhill into a headlong crash. Those meltdowns usually involved tears, lots of Kleenex, serious conversations with the hubby and emotional nuclear waste.

The crisis was usually blamed on hormones, fatigue, stress, or just “being overwhelmed.” I didn’t realize that the meltdowns were mostly avoidable.

The downhill slide started with thoughts. Random thoughts, like dandelion seeds floating through the air and getting tangled in my hair. The more thoughts that accumulated, the more crowded my brain became. The thoughts were floating around in my mind, creating an undercurrent of vague uneasiness.

It didn’t take much to tip the scales into overload when there was already an accumulation of underlying stress.

Even when I “knew” that eventually everything would be handled, I went into stress mode almost automatically. Turns out I felt most comfortable in a state of anxiety after having grown up in a home where feeling anxious was the norm. If there wasn’t enough to get stressed about, I created stress so I’d feel at home.

The good news is that I am learning to use some simple tools to get out of the stress zone and into productive mode. Here’s the short list:

Stop. Recognize impending stress feelings so you can deal with them before they progress.

Look. Step back and distance yourself from what is happening. Analyze without emotion. Be careful of sweeping generalizations, like “This ALWAYS happens,” or “I NEVER get to ____.” This was my normal mode of thinking.

Write. Write in a journal when you feel the stress starting. Make a list on paper of what really needs to be done and when. Write things on the calendar or put them in your phone with an alarm. You don’t have to do it all today. Get it out of your head and onto paper so you can see what really IS.

Think. Be aware of automatic thought patterns. You do have the choice to change your thoughts. Thoughts secrete chemicals that create emotions. Thoughts add up to your attitude. You can even change the physical structure of memories in your brain by thinking differently about them when they come up in your thoughts.

Details. Vague, floating thoughts create stress. Back to pen and paper. Details show the reality and remove the fear of the unknown. We tend to avoid details because we want the freedom to be flexible. Freedom is actually found in the details. Writing down, planning out, scheduling in—when you have the details you see the big picture and know where you can flex.

Living in an overwhelmed state can seem natural and understandable. After all, we’re so busy we SHOULD be stressed out, right? It doesn’t have to be that way.

Give yourself a checkup by becoming aware of your stress feelings. What brought it on? What automatic thoughts did you immediately think?

The next time you feel the overwhelm rising, use these simple tools to help lower your stress level. As your calendar fills up and your list gets longer, you can smile and feel confident in your ability to handle it with the right thoughts and all the details!

You Might Also Like:

  • Quick Fix for an Overwhelmed MomQuick Fix for an Overwhelmed Mom
  • How to Stop Feeling Busy All the TimeHow to Stop Feeling Busy All the Time
  • Three Minutes Can Change Your DayThree Minutes Can Change Your Day
  • How to Have a Good DayHow to Have a Good Day

About Charlotte

I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mindy says

    October 3, 2014 at 9:02 am

    Great thoughts, Charlotte! Thank you!
    Like you mentioned, I have found it very helpful to get everything that needs to be done down on paper. When I can see it, most of the time my reaction is, “Oh, that’s not as bad as I thought!”
    A few years ago, I came up with a method that really helps me when–like this week!–I am facing an unusually large amount of things that need to be done, or when a big event is coming up. First, I sit down and create a master list; I write down everything that I can possibly think of that needs to be accomplished for this week or this event. Next, I look at the calendar and see how many days I have to complete these tasks. I then take a blank piece of plain white paper and fold it into as many sections as I have days left to work. Then I work through my master list, assigning each task to a particular day on my paper chart and writing it down there. Then, I follow my plan! This has been a huge stress reliever, because now, when a particular task comes to mind that needs to be done, instead of worrying about it, I can tell myself, “That job is assigned to Tuesday. Don’t worry about it until then!” Also, this method gives me permission to take a break, especially if I complete everything on a day’s list and the day is not over; I don’t have to feel guilty about all that is left to do before my upcoming event, because my plan is in place and I am accomplishing it! I am very thankful for this method and how much it has helped me.

    Reply
    • Charlotte Siems says

      October 5, 2014 at 9:02 pm

      Love this, Mindy! Thanks for sharing your stress-busting method!

      Reply

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I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU! Read More…

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valuethislife

valuethislife
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to get by with the barebones of running the household—but we skip the joy, comfort and encouragement part.   We trade an artful arrangement of beautiful things on the coffee table for a stack of newspapers and mail. The TV takes the place of a board game. Irritation with our family flavors our speech.   Sometimes this happens so slowly that we barely notice it, and then one day we realize that our home life is out of sorts.  With that realization comes the choice to fix those little things. Tidy up the clutter, get the laundry caught up, read aloud to children, and set a pretty table for an ordinary supper.  Look around your home with fresh eyes to see if it needs a reset. Even 20 minutes of tidying can make an amazing difference.❤️
Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power ha Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power has been out for 2+ days, grateful for a generator and hot water. I figured out that complaining doesn’t make electricity come back on. 😊
Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthst Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthstones of our children but we never found a design with 12 stones. 💍 It was a forgotten wish until I received this bracelet as a sweet gift. I can rattle off their birthdates like a boss but sometimes the size of our family still surprises me. It grew one baby at a time and I grew along with them, like all mothers do. There’s no rewind button, and we can’t go back and have a do-over. But we can be grateful during EVERY season for what we have, and I am!❤️
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” Not “they that complaineth much” or “they that talk about their issues all day long.” I’m guessing that “not waiting” means sucking the life out of strength instead of renewing it. But waiting can begin in this very moment. 
•
(pic from my kitchen window)😊
Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a t Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a task, but we all love how it feels when the task is done. Maybe it would help to think about how good the result will feel before we start!
Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before 14yo could mix up cookie dough. 
👉🏻Note to self:
Don’t wait until it’s time to do a task to check whether you have what you need to do it. Realizing you’re short on supplies or information at the last minute costs time and causes stress! Knowing that you’re prepared eases the pain of getting started. Put “check for ingredients” on your to-do list!
How much life do we waste worrying and fretting an How much life do we waste worrying and fretting and dreading....when the thing we’re upset about IS GOING TO GET DONE?! It’s going to happen, it’s all going to work out, and we probably won’t even remember it by next week. Sometimes it helps to remember that!💕
We bought a house built in the 80’s and have bee We bought a house built in the 80’s and have been doing that fixer upper thing. Sorry for the blurry “before” but just think “black hole” and you’ll get the idea.😂 Amazing what paint and decor can do for a space. Sold the old mantel on FB Marketplace for $60 and bought the unfinished new one for $45. Found the print in my garage, lol. Mirror from Hobby Lobby. Sorta reminds me of my life pre-Jesus. Dark to light. Old to new. Same basic human, transformed with light and love.❤️
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Looking For Something?

valuethislife

valuethislife
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to In our busy ordinary lives there is a tendency to get by with the barebones of running the household—but we skip the joy, comfort and encouragement part.   We trade an artful arrangement of beautiful things on the coffee table for a stack of newspapers and mail. The TV takes the place of a board game. Irritation with our family flavors our speech.   Sometimes this happens so slowly that we barely notice it, and then one day we realize that our home life is out of sorts.  With that realization comes the choice to fix those little things. Tidy up the clutter, get the laundry caught up, read aloud to children, and set a pretty table for an ordinary supper.  Look around your home with fresh eyes to see if it needs a reset. Even 20 minutes of tidying can make an amazing difference.❤️
Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power ha Unexpected October ice storm in Oklahoma. Power has been out for 2+ days, grateful for a generator and hot water. I figured out that complaining doesn’t make electricity come back on. 😊
Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthst Always wanted a “mother’s ring” with birthstones of our children but we never found a design with 12 stones. 💍 It was a forgotten wish until I received this bracelet as a sweet gift. I can rattle off their birthdates like a boss but sometimes the size of our family still surprises me. It grew one baby at a time and I grew along with them, like all mothers do. There’s no rewind button, and we can’t go back and have a do-over. But we can be grateful during EVERY season for what we have, and I am!❤️
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” Not “they that complaineth much” or “they that talk about their issues all day long.” I’m guessing that “not waiting” means sucking the life out of strength instead of renewing it. But waiting can begin in this very moment. 
•
(pic from my kitchen window)😊
Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a t Sometimes it’s a struggle getting started on a task, but we all love how it feels when the task is done. Maybe it would help to think about how good the result will feel before we start!
Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before Yeah, I had to run to the store to get eggs before 14yo could mix up cookie dough. 
👉🏻Note to self:
Don’t wait until it’s time to do a task to check whether you have what you need to do it. Realizing you’re short on supplies or information at the last minute costs time and causes stress! Knowing that you’re prepared eases the pain of getting started. Put “check for ingredients” on your to-do list!
How much life do we waste worrying and fretting an How much life do we waste worrying and fretting and dreading....when the thing we’re upset about IS GOING TO GET DONE?! It’s going to happen, it’s all going to work out, and we probably won’t even remember it by next week. Sometimes it helps to remember that!💕
We bought a house built in the 80’s and have bee We bought a house built in the 80’s and have been doing that fixer upper thing. Sorry for the blurry “before” but just think “black hole” and you’ll get the idea.😂 Amazing what paint and decor can do for a space. Sold the old mantel on FB Marketplace for $60 and bought the unfinished new one for $45. Found the print in my garage, lol. Mirror from Hobby Lobby. Sorta reminds me of my life pre-Jesus. Dark to light. Old to new. Same basic human, transformed with light and love.❤️
Follow on Instagram
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