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Value This Life

Value This Life

Helping you find more joy & beauty in everyday life

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      • Adrenal Fatigue
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Things That Matter….and Things That Don’t

There are things that matter and we think they don’t.

There are things that don’t matter much and we think they do.

It’s not that we purposely set out to ignore important things or elevate unimportant things. We just get busy and busier. Before we know it there’s a skewed sense of priorities.

We forget what we’ll wish we’d done when we’re fifty-three or seventy-two.

In the daily-ness of wiping noses and grocery shopping and genuine exhaustion we somehow lose the vision. We forget what we’ll be glad we did when we’re drawing our last breaths. Or sitting at the bedside of a loved one drawing theirs.

There’s nothing like a crisis to help us sort out which is which. I’m grateful that we’re not in a season of crisis. But watching Facebook acquaintances walk through the valley of the shadow of cancer and the death of children has given me a little shot of perspective lately.

And speaking of perspective, here’s a personal, off-the-top-of-my-head, short list of things that matter:

  • Hugs
  • Changing diapers with love rather than impatience, even when the diaper wearer is three years old
  • Paying attention to my husband and thinking about him during the day
  • Speaking well of my children to others, especially when those children can overhear
  • Oohing and aahing over Lego creations and stick drawings and dandelions clutched in a sweaty little fist
  • Making the effort to make holidays special, even the small ones
  • Fun in the master bedroom on a frequent basis
  • Helping people feel special on their birthday
  • Being kind to bedwetters

Things that don’t matter much:

  • Watching other people live life on TV and Pinterest instead of living my own
  • Impressing other homeschool moms with my children’s accomplishments
  • Complaining about how I feel
  • Letting how I feel determine how hard I try to treat others well
  • Fingerprints on doorframes and refrigerators
  • Finishing workbooks and perfecting handwriting at the cost of personal relationships
  • Constantly pushing children with what they need to do better rather than encouraging them with what they do well
  • Ignoring my husband, figuring he’s a big boy

The lists could go on, of course. If you think of something to add, please do.

You Might Also Like:

  • Three Minutes Can Change Your DayThree Minutes Can Change Your Day
  • How to Stop Feeling Busy All the TimeHow to Stop Feeling Busy All the Time
  • How to Have a Good DayHow to Have a Good Day
  • 5 Things I Wish I’d Known as a Young Mom5 Things I Wish I’d Known as a Young Mom

About Charlotte

I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Candace Perisho de Barbantin says

    May 19, 2018 at 12:09 pm

    Things that matter: bedtime stories, trusting myself to know what’s best for my children

    Not important-worrying about others’ criticism of my parenting style

    Reply

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I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU! Read More…

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valuethislife

valuethislife
It’s not so much having a lot to do and many res It’s not so much having a lot to do and many responsibilities....it’s over-committing and the energy of “not being enough” that leads to burnout and adrenal fatigue. Your body will cooperate until it doesn’t.  Check in with yourself: What is driving all this doing? What’s behind all the striving, pushing, proving? Sit with that....and then STOP being so hard on yourself, sweetie. Give yourself a break. See where you can simplify. Think about what refreshes you and bring more of that into your life. 🌱
Day 8 of city-water-shortage-after-frozen-pipes ha Day 8 of city-water-shortage-after-frozen-pipes hair. Today they gave the go-ahead for dishwashers and clothes washers, so this girl will be washing her hair without guilt. A week ago it was snowing and -26 windchill, today it’s 71 degrees and sunshine. Don’t tell anyone, but I like variety so Oklahoma weather suits me.😍
Family favorite: No-Bake Cookies! Our recipe is ju Family favorite: No-Bake Cookies! Our recipe is just right, both chocolate-y and peanut butter-y. We like to eat these while they’re still warm and gooey!  Best No-Bake Cookies  1 stick butter  1/2 c. milk  2 c. sugar  1/2 c. cocoa  Mix in a saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring until melted and combined.  Boil 1 1/2 minutes only! Remove from heat and stir in:  1/2 c. peanut butter  1 tsp. vanilla  3 c. oats (either quick oats or old-fashioned)  Drop by spoonfuls on waxed paper.  Let set and enjoy!
Living and loving with your whole heart.💕That s Living and loving with your whole heart.💕That sounds lovely but exhausting. Maybe it’s because we’re zoomed out, looking at the whole day and our whole life. 
.
God is not asking you to do it all. Especially not all at once. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. 
.
Zoom back in to this moment. Do the next thing, but do it with your whole heart. 
.
While you’re doing the thing, stop thinking about all the OTHER things you have to do. The most important things WILL get done, but not all at once.❤️
Pretty college student on her 21st birthday. Our 1 Pretty college student on her 21st birthday. Our 10th child. Straight A student. Absolute delight. And when I found out I was pregnant with her, I couldn’t see how it would work out. All I could see was the current circumstance, the feelings and the fear of the future. Maybe this will encourage you today about a situation in your life. There’s a lot of good and hope in your future.🌱
Snow is rare where I live in Oklahoma. Today it’ Snow is rare where I live in Oklahoma. Today it’s still at the pretty stage, when it covers bare ground and sparkles in the sun. Stray snowflakes are falling like glitter. The melting gray slush is coming, but for today it’s a fairy landscape. Reminds me that we can’t stop time or hold on to life’s moments. We can look for the good right where we are and trust God for the “different” good coming.❄️
A good word for when you’re tempted to be mean t A good word for when you’re tempted to be mean to yourself ❤️
Nobody sittin’ on this garden bench in two degre Nobody sittin’ on this garden bench in two degree weather today!🥶Unusually cold, with rare snow and more to come in Oklahoma. This weather event has disrupted “life as usual.” Prayers for those without power, water or heat right now—rolling power blackouts have begun...
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
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Looking For Something?

valuethislife

valuethislife
It’s not so much having a lot to do and many res It’s not so much having a lot to do and many responsibilities....it’s over-committing and the energy of “not being enough” that leads to burnout and adrenal fatigue. Your body will cooperate until it doesn’t.  Check in with yourself: What is driving all this doing? What’s behind all the striving, pushing, proving? Sit with that....and then STOP being so hard on yourself, sweetie. Give yourself a break. See where you can simplify. Think about what refreshes you and bring more of that into your life. 🌱
Day 8 of city-water-shortage-after-frozen-pipes ha Day 8 of city-water-shortage-after-frozen-pipes hair. Today they gave the go-ahead for dishwashers and clothes washers, so this girl will be washing her hair without guilt. A week ago it was snowing and -26 windchill, today it’s 71 degrees and sunshine. Don’t tell anyone, but I like variety so Oklahoma weather suits me.😍
Family favorite: No-Bake Cookies! Our recipe is ju Family favorite: No-Bake Cookies! Our recipe is just right, both chocolate-y and peanut butter-y. We like to eat these while they’re still warm and gooey!  Best No-Bake Cookies  1 stick butter  1/2 c. milk  2 c. sugar  1/2 c. cocoa  Mix in a saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring until melted and combined.  Boil 1 1/2 minutes only! Remove from heat and stir in:  1/2 c. peanut butter  1 tsp. vanilla  3 c. oats (either quick oats or old-fashioned)  Drop by spoonfuls on waxed paper.  Let set and enjoy!
Living and loving with your whole heart.💕That s Living and loving with your whole heart.💕That sounds lovely but exhausting. Maybe it’s because we’re zoomed out, looking at the whole day and our whole life. 
.
God is not asking you to do it all. Especially not all at once. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. 
.
Zoom back in to this moment. Do the next thing, but do it with your whole heart. 
.
While you’re doing the thing, stop thinking about all the OTHER things you have to do. The most important things WILL get done, but not all at once.❤️
Pretty college student on her 21st birthday. Our 1 Pretty college student on her 21st birthday. Our 10th child. Straight A student. Absolute delight. And when I found out I was pregnant with her, I couldn’t see how it would work out. All I could see was the current circumstance, the feelings and the fear of the future. Maybe this will encourage you today about a situation in your life. There’s a lot of good and hope in your future.🌱
Snow is rare where I live in Oklahoma. Today it’ Snow is rare where I live in Oklahoma. Today it’s still at the pretty stage, when it covers bare ground and sparkles in the sun. Stray snowflakes are falling like glitter. The melting gray slush is coming, but for today it’s a fairy landscape. Reminds me that we can’t stop time or hold on to life’s moments. We can look for the good right where we are and trust God for the “different” good coming.❄️
A good word for when you’re tempted to be mean t A good word for when you’re tempted to be mean to yourself ❤️
Nobody sittin’ on this garden bench in two degre Nobody sittin’ on this garden bench in two degree weather today!🥶Unusually cold, with rare snow and more to come in Oklahoma. This weather event has disrupted “life as usual.” Prayers for those without power, water or heat right now—rolling power blackouts have begun...
Have you ever procrastinated about doing something Have you ever procrastinated about doing something, with thoughts of dread and overwhelm?😬And then done the thing,  finding that it was easier and faster to get done than you thought it would be?🥴Yeah, me too. Note to self: The dreading and putting off costs a whole lot more emotional energy than just doing the thing. 😊
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