The View from Childhood: The Importance of Your Appearance at Home

Girly. What does that word mean to you? Pink feather boas and flaming red high heels come to mind. Bling, sparkles and lace. Tea parties and fancy manicures.

Somehow femininity has gotten a bad rap. Those who scoff and think it means weakness don’t understand the true strength of a woman who knows who she is and isn’t afraid to live it.

Part of our femininity is our appearance.

Busy women can get in a rut of “sensible” clothing and plain, serviceable shoes. Or a daily outfit of t-shirt, jeans and flip flops. After all, we’re going to get fingerprinted with peanut butter and we’ve got that shower to scrub. Who cares what you wear at home, right?

Consider this. If your memorial service were held next week, what would be your family’s memories of you? What photos of you would show up in the slide show? “I remember Mom always wore that stained t-shirt and the jeans with the ripped back pocket.” (Sorry, I just attended a funeral and it got me to thinking).

What childhood impressions do you want to leave? It’s worth thinking about.

Do your young children know the swish of a skirt? Do they ever see you in a fresh pretty color or a cute cardigan? When you put on makeup and fix your hair do they ask where you’re going?

Yes, I know it’s not realistic to wear pearls and heels to do housework. But how about a cheerful apron and pretty hairband?

You are building memories every single day, memories for your marriage and your family. Those little touches do matter.

Did you know that our sense of smell is strongly tied to memory? What kind of “scent memories” are you creating for those closest to you? Have some fun with fragrance: perfume, scented lotion, or a clean soap smell. They’ll get a pleasant whiff when Mom walks by.

When’s the last time you bought something really girly? Something sparkly or lacy and definitely not practical. Whether you wear it in the kitchen or the bedroom, it might just put a spring in your step as you feel pretty and feminine.

OF COURSE leave room for your personal style. And you don’t have to go out and buy an entire new wardrobe. This is just a perspective shift, and something to have fun with.

Let’s get down to even more nitty gritty. In what condition are your underthings? Cotton underwear with stretched out elastic strings hanging down, or pretty unmentionables in a delicious color? Undergarments that used to be white but are now a grayish unknown color or a peachy-pink lace-trimmed little something? Maybe no one but you and your husband see them, but uh, I rest my case.

Don’t underestimate the effect of your clothing and grooming on your day. On the days when you fix your hair, put on makeup and dress pretty, you feel better about yourself. You know you do.

Just a friendly little neighborhood reminder that your family is watching you. Make an effort to make the view a little more pleasant.

“Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things – I am tempted to think there are no little things.”  ~ Bruce Barton


  1. Johanne aka Clarity says:

    Most important is to grow your own memories first.  By putting clothes you like and feel good in, you are feeling better and everyone will see and feel it – even in t-shirt, flipflops and jeans.  Perception can kill a day and all the memories.  How many times I heard people saying that woman looks so good in those jeans and yet, they were old and not that sexy.  But as she was wearing them with the feel good attitude anything / everything became hers.

    Our body reacts to what we feel in front of the mirror.  We can put earings and feel better or not at all because it is not us – we force it.   Be who you are and be proud, everything will make you feel feminine, girly and yes you can throw away the old underwears 🙂

    Charlotte you are girly even in t-shirt, jeans and flipflops and I’m pretty sure you’re family will say the samething.  The feel good attitude applies in every clothes.  Perception of not being okay would destroy it in a second.

    I would have prefer to see my mom in jeans, t-shirt and flipflops and seeing her happy instead of doing what was “better” to do .  No memories there, believe me.

    Honor who you are as you are.  That’s the best memories you can leave to yours.

    *I’m sorry if I killed the deal. You know me enough to feel what I wrote.
    Sorry for the funeral you attended – blessings to the family and friends for their lost.

    1. I really agree with you.  We are a one income family, starting on our 2nd year of homeschooling our child and money just isn’t there for us.  We are doing good to have 2 or 3 nice outfits for church, much less to be dressed up all fancy at home.  The only jewelry I own is 2 sets of earrings, my wedding ring, and 2 necklaces.  I can’t afford to wear them all the time because buying more isn’t an option right now.  My husband often times says that he would rather the house be clean and our son educated and happy with a home cooked meal on the table and memories made then to come home and find me all dressed up.  I try to take the effort to not be in pajama’s when he comes home but he says if he comes home and I’m wearing sweats and a tshirt and have accomplished a lot that day, then it is no big deal to him.  It is a lot easier for me to get outside and run around the yard playing soccer or go ride our bikes or something with our son when I’m dressed somewhat comfortably then if I’m dressed up.  I would rather be outside playing with my child then sit on the sidelines watching because I’m in nice clothes or fancy shoes or something.

  2. Kayla Hunt says:

    I think this is a good reminder.  Even if we don’t change the clothes we wear, taking care of ourselves by hopping in the shower, putting on some make-up and non-stained, non-ratty clothes is a good thing!  Especially for those of us who are home all day, every day with our kids.  I agree, how do we want them to remember us, sloppy or tidy?

  3. Elevenarrows says:

    I completely “get” what you are saying, Charlotte! I’ve had to work on balance over the years. I used to wear dresses ALL the time. I would even do yard work in them. I thought I was being a godly woman and upholding standards other godly women at church expected me to. Finally, my husband told me that he married a woman who rode horses and wore jeans and cowboy boots. He told me he really missed her. I felt awful! That very day, I went out and bought jeans. I was horrified that I had to buy a pair much larger than the ones I wore when he first met that horse-riding, boot-wearing girl. But, you know what? He LOVED the jeans and thought I looked great…and I could tell he was sincere. That was an AHA moment for me when I realized that he had been starved for the girl with whom he had fallen in love. Somehow in the midst of all the babies (eleven plus 3 miscarriages), I had lost track of who I was. My best friend helped me see that and I am thankful for his patience and love all those years he was wishing I was in jeans!

    Having said that, I, too, have fallen into dressing painfully-practical at home. Since I teach the kids at home and run our business from a home office, I’ve been known to go to “work” in PJs. Thank you for reminding me to give my husband some “eye-candy” and my kids an attractive mother of which to be proud.

    Have a blessed day!

  4. JenniferLedford says:

    Charlotte this is awesome.  This is sooooo important and you really nailed it in your article.  Thank you for writing this.  We as women need to remember that we are beautiful and not frumpy.  Wear those beautiful outfits to run errands!  I do and it makes me even more productive.  You rock!

  5. Stephanieochsner says:

    Thanks for your thoughts, Charlotte!  It really encouraged me!

  6. Love this…really spoke to my heart and a part of me that I often don’t allow to shine. This is my favorite sentence ‘You are building memories every single day, memories for your marriage and your family.’  Thank you for reminding me so clearly that the picture of womanhood that my children will remember comes from my every day demeanor. 

  7. Very nice, but at the same time I appreciate that my family does care what I look like and loves me anyway. 😀 

  8. Perfect for me to read as I sit here with bed head and jammies – I love how your blogs word truth in poignant ways. :). Have a blessed day and thank you for sharing.

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