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Value This Life

Value This Life

Helping you find more joy & beauty in everyday life

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Your Won’t Do List

Antique typewriter with aged textured paper sheet. Business concept To Do List

A clear vision for your life is as much about what you are NOT going to do as it is about what you ARE going to do. When you know what you want your life to look like, it establishes limits around your actions. It informs your decisions, simplifying your life. You know what you want, so that makes the little decisions easier.

It sounds good in theory, but what about in real life? Here’s a thought. Instead of just writing to-do lists, try writing a list of the things that you are NOT going to do. For example:

–I will not check email until 11:00am.

–I will not answer Facebook messages until after lunch.

–I will not watch a movie during the week so I can use that time to read a book that helps me grow personally.

–I will not sleep with the phone next to the bed.

This “won’t do” list will look different for everyone, of course. Each of us has our own actions that trip us up and suck away our time and emotional energy. Getting upset about someone’s drama on Facebook isn’t a productive use of our life. Scrolling through the Amazon website won’t solve our challenges or make us a better person. On the other hand, watching an episode of Fixer Upper to unwind just might be a wise choice for your season of life. Watching an entire season in one sitting, not so much.

Some of these “won’t do’s” may be as serious as disentangling yourself from obligations. You might realize that saying “yes” to a one-hour commitment each week didn’t take into consideration getting ready, finding kids’ shoes, feeding the family supper early, stopping for gas, and mentally stressing over all of these details. An innocent hour commitment grew into an all-afternoon-and-evening ordeal, and now you find yourself dreading it. How about adding it to your “won’t do” list instead?

Build in protective measures and limits around your “won’t do’s.” Put up a fence by attaching a time limit or specific boundary. Tell someone so they will hold you accountable. Kids are really good at this, believe me.

The good thing about a “won’t do” list is that it frees you up for the “will do’s.” Clarity on what you will NOT do helps you realize what you really WANT to do.

Life is too short to spend it doing things that don’t get you where you want to go. For instance, if it’s important to you to read aloud to your kids, but you find yourself rarely doing that, you’ll feel the disconnect and it will discourage you. You’ll feel off track and out of sorts, but might not be able to put your finger on why.

Spend some time thinking about what you DO want in your life. Then make a “won’t do” list to make room for the good stuff. When you live intentionally and with purpose, it will make a difference in your energy and clear thinking. Get out a pen and paper, and start your “won’t do” list today.

 

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About Charlotte

I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Carrie S. says

    June 23, 2016 at 11:22 am

    Thank you Charlotte! Did I ever need to hear that today!! I’m going to make that don’t do list!!

    Reply
    • Charlotte says

      June 23, 2016 at 9:55 pm

      That’s awesome! Work that list!

      Reply
  2. Heather P says

    June 23, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    Charlotte, thanks so much! glad to have the blessing of your wisdom in my mail box! I love the idea of won’t do list!!

    Reply
    • Charlotte says

      June 23, 2016 at 9:54 pm

      Aww thank you! Glad you welcome me into your email box! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Shauna Raus says

    June 24, 2016 at 8:40 am

    Thank you Charlotte! This is a message that I really needed to “hear” this morning. I have a long history of doing things that I don’t
    want to do but feel obligated to do. Being stuck on this track has caused me to be sidetracked in all areas of my life: mission, career and health. This is great encouragement and I will be printing out the “list” graphic as a reminder that there are things to do that, while they might be good for someone, they ultimately are not what I should be doing.

    Reply

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I'm a grateful wife & mom of 12 amazing persons. I love to inspire & teach busy women to find beauty in everyday life by caring for themselves, creating comfortable homes with their families and living out ordinary days with grace and gratitude. I'd love to encourage YOU! Read More…

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Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot in cosmetology school so we threw a family beauty-themed party. Not one homemade decoration or treat, nothing fancy or overwhelming!  We just gathered stuff around the house for the theme and bought inexpensive party trimmings. Frozen cream puffs, mini cookies and candy (Easter colors were perfect), and “Bugles” for “nail tips.”  Done! Better a simple party with fun than a fancy party with stress!
I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beau I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beautiful. Why should we be embarrassed to admit that? Spring flowers, Fall leaves, Winter snowflakes and Summer sunsets are all beautiful. Different colors, textures and sizes—but each exquisite. What could change if you looked in the mirror with LOVE and appreciation for YOUR one-of-a-kind beauty?💕
The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot for a seasonal arrangement. Tiny red berries and antique gold branches were added for Christmas. Orange bittersweet stems and scattered leaves could give it a Fall feel. A pretty arrangement helps keep the dresser top from getting cluttered with mail and coins and papers. Your bedroom is the first and last thing you see every day, so give yourself a visual treat—something that YOU enjoy seeing.🌷
Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special f Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special for Easter! Mini Robin Eggs turn the cookies into tiny nests. Recipe for the cookies and Resurrection Rolls over at the blog!
Easter week and we need all the energy and happy b Easter week and we need all the energy and happy brain we can get! Thicker hair and strong nails are kinda nice, too. Quick and simple is my mom jam, so mixing it all together works great. Some “plant stuff” tastes like grass clippings, this isn’t that. 😂 I can help you choose, let’s chat!
Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t have to pull up a chair and turn on a movie for them. Don’t let them hang around long enough to bring you down and shape your emotions. Show them the door and turn your attention to thoughts that serve you well. Think on THOSE things. 💕
My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big wind My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big windows, almost ceiling to floor. Give me all the light! Favorite thing about photo filters: they camouflage dirty windows. **cat unintentionally included in scene, literally came out of nowhere 😳
“Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkl “Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkly eyeshadow.” Fashion advice I’m NOT listening to.💋Eyeshadow is the most FUN part of makeup for me, and I love variety! Many women prefer neutral/natural/no-makeup looks. Y’all go ahead! You do you! I’ll be over here with the purples and blues and greens and alllll the shimmers.😂💄What’s YOUR makeup look?
I don’t remember how it started, but decorating I don’t remember how it started, but decorating for the seasons has been part of the rhythm of our family life for years. I was determined to create a home where good memories could be made. Small holidays and seasonal touches mark the passage of time and anchor traditions. Sometimes the decor is very simple, sometimes more elaborate—but I’m always glad I made the effort!
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valuethislife

valuethislife
Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot Celebrate all the things!! Our daughter got a spot in cosmetology school so we threw a family beauty-themed party. Not one homemade decoration or treat, nothing fancy or overwhelming!  We just gathered stuff around the house for the theme and bought inexpensive party trimmings. Frozen cream puffs, mini cookies and candy (Easter colors were perfect), and “Bugles” for “nail tips.”  Done! Better a simple party with fun than a fancy party with stress!
I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beau I think it’s natural for us to want to feel beautiful. Why should we be embarrassed to admit that? Spring flowers, Fall leaves, Winter snowflakes and Summer sunsets are all beautiful. Different colors, textures and sizes—but each exquisite. What could change if you looked in the mirror with LOVE and appreciation for YOUR one-of-a-kind beauty?💕
The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot The top of a tall bedroom dresser is a great spot for a seasonal arrangement. Tiny red berries and antique gold branches were added for Christmas. Orange bittersweet stems and scattered leaves could give it a Fall feel. A pretty arrangement helps keep the dresser top from getting cluttered with mail and coins and papers. Your bedroom is the first and last thing you see every day, so give yourself a visual treat—something that YOU enjoy seeing.🌷
Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special f Our family favorite No-Bake Cookies made special for Easter! Mini Robin Eggs turn the cookies into tiny nests. Recipe for the cookies and Resurrection Rolls over at the blog!
Easter week and we need all the energy and happy b Easter week and we need all the energy and happy brain we can get! Thicker hair and strong nails are kinda nice, too. Quick and simple is my mom jam, so mixing it all together works great. Some “plant stuff” tastes like grass clippings, this isn’t that. 😂 I can help you choose, let’s chat!
Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t Sure, thoughts pop into your head but you don’t have to pull up a chair and turn on a movie for them. Don’t let them hang around long enough to bring you down and shape your emotions. Show them the door and turn your attention to thoughts that serve you well. Think on THOSE things. 💕
My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big wind My favorite thing about our 80’s house: big windows, almost ceiling to floor. Give me all the light! Favorite thing about photo filters: they camouflage dirty windows. **cat unintentionally included in scene, literally came out of nowhere 😳
“Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkl “Older women shouldn’t wear colorful or sparkly eyeshadow.” Fashion advice I’m NOT listening to.💋Eyeshadow is the most FUN part of makeup for me, and I love variety! Many women prefer neutral/natural/no-makeup looks. Y’all go ahead! You do you! I’ll be over here with the purples and blues and greens and alllll the shimmers.😂💄What’s YOUR makeup look?
I don’t remember how it started, but decorating I don’t remember how it started, but decorating for the seasons has been part of the rhythm of our family life for years. I was determined to create a home where good memories could be made. Small holidays and seasonal touches mark the passage of time and anchor traditions. Sometimes the decor is very simple, sometimes more elaborate—but I’m always glad I made the effort!
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